Ped Headed League Part 4
Sir Arthur Ignatius Conan Doyle
Vincent Spaulding seemed to know so much about it that I thought he might prove useful, so I just
ordered him to put up the shutters for the day and to come right away with me. He was very willing to
have a holiday, so we shut the business up and started off for the address that was given us in the
advertisement. "I never hope to see such a sight as that again, Mr. Holmes. From north, south, east, and
west every man who had a shade of red in his hair had tramped into the city to answer the
advertisement. Fleet Street was choked with red-headed folk, and Pope's Court looked like a coster's
orange barrow. I should not have thought there were so many in the whole country as were brought
together by that single advertisement. Every shade of colour they were--straw, lemon, orange, brick, Irish-
setter, liver, clay; but, as Spaulding said, there were not many who had the real vivid flame-coloured tint.
When I saw how many were waiting, I would have given it up in despair; but Spaulding would not hear of
it. How he did it I could not imagine, but he pushed and pulled and butted until he got me through the
crowd, and right up to the steps which led to the office. There was a double stream upon the stair, some
going up in hope, and some coming back dejected; but we wedged in as well as we could and soon found
ourselves in the office."
"Your experience has been a most entertaining one," remarked Holmes as his client paused and
refreshed his memory with a huge pinch of snuff. "Pray continue your very interesting statement." "There
was nothing in the office but a couple of wooden chairs and a deal table, behind which sat a small man
with a head that was even redder than mine. He said a few words to each candidate as he came up, and
then he always managed to find some fault in them which would disqualify them. Getting a vacancy did
not seem to be such a very easy matter, after all. However, when our turn came the little man was much
more favourable to me than to any of the others, and he closed the door as we entered, so that he might
have a private word with us. "'This is Mr. Jabez Wilson,' said my assistant, 'and he is willing to fill a vacancy
in the League.' "'And he is admirably suited for it,' the other answered. 'He has every requirement. I
cannot recall when I have seen anything so fine.' He took a step backward, cocked his head on one side,
and gazed at my hair until I felt quite bashful. Then suddenly he plunged forward, wrung my hand, and
congratulated me warmly on my success. "'It would be injustice to hesitate,' said he. 'You will, however, I
am sure, excuse me for taking an obvious precaution.' With that he seized my hair in both his hands, and
tugged until I yelled with the pain. 'There is water in your eyes,' said he as he released me. 'I perceive that
all is as it should be. But we have to be careful, for we have twice been deceived by wigs and once by
paint. I could tell you tales of cobbler's wax which would disgust you with human nature.' He stepped
over to the window and shouted through it at the top of his voice that the vacancy was filled. A groan of
disappointment came up from below, and the folk all trooped away in different directions until there was
not a red-head to be seen except my own and that of the manager.
"'My name,' said he, 'is Mr. Duncan Ross, and I am myself one of the pensioners upon the fund left by our
noble benefactor. Are you a married man, Mr. Wilson? Have you a family?' "I answered that I had not.
"His face fell immediately. "'Dear me!' he said gravely, 'that is very serious indeed! I am sorry to hear you
say that. The fund was, of course, for the propagation and spread of the red-heads as well as for their
maintenance. It is exceedingly unfortunate that you should be a bachelor.' "My face lengthened at this,
Mr. Holmes, for I thought that I was not to have the vacancy after all; but after thinking it over for a few
minutes he said that it would be all right. "'In the case of another,' said he, 'the objection might be fatal,
but we must stretch a point in favour of a man with such a head of hair as yours.